?

Log in

Next Entry

Second Chance Idol: Introduction

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Apparently, that's not true...but I always like to make the effort anyway.

I've been sitting here reading everyone's introductions and noting all the clever ways they ensure they stand out among the masses. It makes me wonder if there even is anything special about me that would make my incessant babbling worth reading. The truth is, writing is all I have. Come to think of it, it may be all I've ever had. It's what I share my elation with when I'm climbing rainbows to cloud nine and the security blanket I cling to when I'm plummeting off the side of the world's highest mountain. It's my outlet, and that's all it's ever really been for me.

The truth is: I'm just a girl.
A thoroughly screwed up one, in fact. I'm not a model, I don't possess any superpowers (Side note: If I had to pick one, it would probably be x-ray vision...because I'm a total perv), and I haven't done anything monumentally heroic or record-breaking. I'm a 30-year-old woman (which, by the way, is my scary age) who, up until recently, was well on her way to becoming the infamous old spinster living in a house overflowing with cats and rocking those oh-so-flattering ratty housecoats with big purple flowers. But...that's a long story and probably better suited for another time.

My corner of the world has recently become rather minuscule - or ginormous - depending on one's perspective. Over the course of the past two years I've moved from one end of the country to, quite literally, the other end (Miami, FL to Rochester, WA). From Big City, Bright Lights to Small Town, USA and in the process I have watched my reality crumble and been forced to rebuild from the ground up on more than one occasion. I'm really rather depressed about it, frankly - but I'm always chasing those damn rainbows. 

Hopefully, this time, I'll catch one. 

xo.
Mellie

*Entry written in hopes that [info]therealljidol will let me in.  

Comments

( 60 comments — Leave a comment )
onda_bianca
Jan. 4th, 2011 03:24 pm (UTC)
Hi and welcome. I look forward to reading you and yes, x-ray vision would be cool, but I'm a perv too. :)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 04:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks, same here. And yay @ fellow pervdom!
(no subject) - onda_bianca - Jan. 4th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 4th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - onda_bianca - Jan. 4th, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
a_rabid_flea
Jan. 4th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
If you're chasing rainbows, you've moved to the right place. With the weather changing every 5 minutes, there are never any shortage of rainbows to follow in this corner of the world.

As for you being "just a girl", I find it hard to believe that there is anything "Just" about you. You may not have performed any acts of monumental heroism, but what you do is no less important. You have an effect on the lives of the people you come in contact with. While that may have been part of your job description, you don't do it because it's a job. It's because that is who you are, and you are damned good at it.
~Aallyx

beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)
I've found that's one of the positive things - I have definitely seen a fuckton of rainbows in the past two months. Definitely gives me hope for brighter days.

Sometimes I wish that I could see myself the way that others do. Lately, especially, people have been giving me such positive feedback like the comment you just made. Maybe part of my 2011 "fall in love with myself" plan will foster that kind of confidence in my abilities. In any case, thank you darling. XO.
mstrobel
Jan. 4th, 2011 07:57 pm (UTC)
Writing is a wonderful outlet, and mine as well :) You definitely stand out to me, I must say. Looking forward to more!
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you. That is incredibly reassuring to hear [read]. Hopefully I'll be allowed to post at least a few more, if only to maintain the shred of sanity I have left. lol
(no subject) - mstrobel - Jan. 4th, 2011 10:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 4th, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
robertlyon
Jan. 4th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
I bet ya that you'll find a pot of gold too when you do!
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 08:21 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it's more about the journey than the destination, my friend. But a pot of gold would totally rock. ;]
similiesslip
Jan. 4th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC)
Writing is both a security blanket and a way to share elation...I like how you phrased that:)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 09:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I like the concept of living one's life backwards, it offers a different perspective. I look forward to reading more of your writing. ;]
(no subject) - similiesslip - Jan. 4th, 2011 09:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 4th, 2011 09:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
soprano1790
Jan. 4th, 2011 09:53 pm (UTC)
Wow! That's a big move. I would be out of sorts too. And, I would have to say that I think I would rather be able to teleport. Then, I could travel all over the world.
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 4th, 2011 10:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's a good one! I hadn't thought of that. It would make it easier to see my friends & fam back home.
greathall
Jan. 4th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
Welcome back, one of my all-time favorite LJers!
I hope you catch one of those "those damn rainbows."
~J
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 12:02 am (UTC)
Jerry! So good to see your green smiling face! lol
Thanks, doll...I do, too. How have you been? Anything new and exciting?
(no subject) - greathall - Jan. 5th, 2011 03:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 5th, 2011 04:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
solstice_singer
Jan. 5th, 2011 12:19 am (UTC)
Welcome! I've watched my own life crumble over the past year, so I can relate to what you say here. I also find writing to be quite an outlet.

May I add you?
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 12:38 am (UTC)
Thanks, and sure you can! Just don't blame me if you regret it later. lol
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 5th, 2011 05:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - solstice_singer - Jan. 5th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 5th, 2011 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
angelsdevils
Jan. 5th, 2011 03:18 am (UTC)
I really, really dig it.
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 05:42 am (UTC)
Thanks, Wifey. Consequently I really, really dig YOU.
comedychick
Jan. 5th, 2011 10:40 am (UTC)
Your first impression on me was a good one because I liked that you had an icon of yourself with the link to your entry. You might be "just a girl" but you seem like someone who's worth getting to know so far :)

I always thought x-ray vision should more appropriately used to see skeletons, but I like meeting fellow pervs ;)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you! You rock for that comment. But, out of curiosity, who else would be on my icon?

Yea, you may be right - but I'm not interested in skeletons! lol
(no subject) - comedychick - Jan. 5th, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
pricelessone
Jan. 5th, 2011 01:35 pm (UTC)
Welcome and best of luck to you!
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks, same to you!
myrna_bird
Jan. 5th, 2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
I am looking forward to reading your "incessant babbling" as you called it. Welcome. :)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 5th, 2011 08:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)
sonarvampress
Jan. 6th, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
I think more people don't realize how amazing they are, but everyone eventually does something amazing. I guess you could say everyone eventually catches at least one rainbow.
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 6th, 2011 01:41 pm (UTC)
I agree with that. I guess what is considered amazing is largely a matter of perspective.
dreamchaser
Jan. 6th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
Welcome and nice to meet you!

X-ray vision would be my choice superpower, too :)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 8th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
Thank you and same here.

Then I like you already. :)
xo_kizzy_xo
Jan. 6th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
I'll chase rainbows with you!

Writing has always been my security blanket too.

Welcome!
sweeny_todd
Jan. 6th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
that is a big change! I hope you find some rainbows that hang around.
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 8th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
Indeed. Me too, here's hoping!
basric
Jan. 7th, 2011 04:17 am (UTC)
Nothing wrong with chasing rainbows. Occasionally you catch one. Welcome. Look forward to your entries.
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 8th, 2011 03:04 am (UTC)
Thanks! Are you a second chancer too or are you writing for the big dogs? lol
(no subject) - basric - Jan. 8th, 2011 04:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 8th, 2011 05:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - basric - Jan. 8th, 2011 04:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 8th, 2011 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
smileygal77
Jan. 7th, 2011 10:11 pm (UTC)
<3
Hi Mellie!
It's been ages...i fell out of the LiveJournal loop and was sucked into the Facebook vortex...but came back to check in on you and say hello. It's been so long...i'm so glad you finally made it out of Florida, and omg...a belated congratulations on becoming a Mrs!

xo
Cheryl
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 8th, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
Re: <3
CHERYL! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, WOMAN?!
How is everything? How's the fam? I miss yooooooooooouu!!
I'm on Facebook too, btw. You can add me there if you are going to abandon LJ ship. And thank you for the congratulations.

XOXO!!
Re: <3 - smileygal77 - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: <3 - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 10th, 2011 06:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: <3 - smileygal77 - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: <3 - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 10th, 2011 06:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
drjeff
Jan. 16th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
Can I please please please friend you? I mean, geez, you're even in the same general geographic location! :)
beyond_my_smile
Jan. 16th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
Hmmm, let me think.

ABSOLUTELY! :D
(no subject) - drjeff - Jan. 16th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beyond_my_smile - Jan. 16th, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 60 comments — Leave a comment )
Powered by LiveJournal.com